no reservations

When someone travels to a foreign country, the first question many people ask is: “What was the food like?” Because I now feel like I have been here long enough (4 months!!) to have an adequate grasp on this part of the culture, I’ll try to answer it to the best of my ability.  Generally, food in Pohnpei is grouped into two categories: local food and imported food.  I could go into great depth about the motivations and implications for eating one food or the other but I’ll just focus on the foods that are different from what you would encounter in the United States – and ones that I have good pictures for.  Be warned though, I made no attempt to censor myself!

Bananas: They come in many varieties, shapes, sizes, and they are as plentiful as water.  In fact, if you were to actually purchase a bushel of bananas here, it would cost you around 60 cents.  The absolute best kind of banana I’ve ever had in my life is the Uht en Guam (translated as: bananas from Guam).  They are about a third of the length of a normal banana and less thick.  While they definitely have a banana flavor, you almost can’t recognize them as such because they are so sweet.  Gabrielle has made me banana pancakes with this variety and it makes me feel like I’m having dessert for breakfast.  The best part is that – like candy – they are fun-sized, so you don’t feel guilty downing five or six of them in one sitting.

The bananas to the far left are the Uht en Guam.  They make for a much better snack than a bag of chips.  In the foreground is the remains of a local oven, or uhm, made from red hot rocks and banana leaves.

 The other kind of banana appeals to the immature side of me.  The Karat banana is known for its abundance of Vitamin A and soft texture.  When pronounced quickly and without rolling the ‘r,’ it sounds like “crotch” banana.  The Karat banana has fueled more penis jokes than Anthony Weiner himself at the height of his Twitter scandal and would make you doubt that WorldTeach consists of actual college graduates.  There is an abundance of “Go Karat” bumper stickers around Pohnpei that are supposed to encourage eating local food but instead they just encourage me to make childish remarks.

This is me holding my Karat banana (haha) but you can see that it has a leathery red peel and a soft orange center that you eat with a spoon.  Very delicious!

 Pig: Pigs, or pwihk (pweek), are a delicacy and are usually only served at large festivals, fundraisers, or Komedipws (parties honoring the traditional chiefs).  Unfortunately, I have yet to see a respectable piece of bacon served to me, but rather, pork is presented in all its glory with attached bones, tendons, fat, and hairy pig skin.  To prepare them for the feast, pigs are stabbed in the heart with a machete, organs are pulled out, and the meat is quartered after the children are finished playing with the carcasses.  Pohnpeians would seriously make great anatomists or surgeons because of all their experience throughout their life with pig bodies. 

At a komedipw.  You can only see a few pig carcasses, but there are about 15 or so pigs behind it with children also playing in them.

Some of my favorite dudes playing with pig hearts.  Completely normal.

 The majority of people here raise pigs on their property and if they don’t eat them, are able to sell them for anywhere from a couple hundred to over a thousand dollars.  While I was stuffing myself at lunch one day, Gabrielle was discussing with a friend what people usually do with leftovers.  He said that Pohnpeians usually just give it to their pigs in order to fatten them up; Gabrielle responded that she does the same exact thing with the pig she has at home (referring, of course, to me).  Our friend did not catch on to this and we led him on a merry conversation that ended with him suggesting that we could get four to five hundred dollars for our 185 lb pig that lives in the house with Gabrielle and that he would be willing to buy it.  Tempting as the extra money would be, I did not feel like moving out of the house and living in a pen.

A freshly slaughtered pwihk.  This one would probably sell for several hundred dollars if it was not being presented to the Kitti Nahnmwarki as a gift.

 Dog: Like other Asian countries that eat what we consider to be household pets, Pohnpeians also think of dogs as a delicacy.  However, the consumption of dog is more reactionary than it is planned out for a party or celebration.  For instance, Gabrielle went on a run one day to find herself being chased by a vicious dog that crossed paths with her.  Before she could defend herself, a zorro-like figure jumped out of the woods and stabbed the dog in the stomach with a machete.  To emphasize the ruthlessness of these animals, the dog CONTINUED to bark at her while it was impaled with a 3 foot knife.  Needless to say, this man was definitely eating well that night. 

In Pohnpei, I think of dogs as just being big squirrels; no one pets them, feeds them, or even notices them, but they still find a way of ruining your picnic.  They are a nuisance that chase me down the road when I run and wake me up with their barking when I’m sleeping at night.  When I was in Kolonia, I used to half-wish that the dog barking outside my window would bite me so that I would have an excuse to put the damn thing to rest.  If you’re interested, dog meat is like dark chicken meat and tastes even better with a side of vengeance.  

To the dog lovers: I am sincerely sorry, but I couldn't resist.  Gabrielle tapped me on the shoulder with this after we finished eating dinner at church one night - definitely didn't see that one coming!

 I was planning on writing about more foods but these three seemed to have occupied me pretty well.  I will make a food blog Part II some other time to describe the rest of Pohnpei’s culinary characteristics.  I hope you’re all doing well and eatin’ good back home!